Visit the Gallic Empire! |
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©1998 Daniel McCollum |
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We here at the Gallic Tourist Board encourage you to visit the Imperial Capital of the Gallic Empire. Our nation tracks its history back to the first Gallic Unification by Vercingetorix. Lughdunum, the Imperial City, is as majestic as it is rich in history. It was a great city during the time of Vercingetorix, however, after the break up of the First Gallic Empire, it soon became even more important. It became a center of trade, and became rich. Soon afterward a local chieftain was able to reunite Gaul. While visiting the city, please visit the memorial for all of those who died during the Saxon Invasion of the Gallic Empire. Although the Empire became split after this it soon rallied and drove the Germanic barbarians out of the city. The memorial is to pay tribute to the many civilians and brave Gallic soldiers who died during the retaking. Also be sure to visit the many embassies of, now, long dead civilizations. These include the Breton Alliance, and the Roman Republic's short live embassy. It ended when, many 600 years after the time of Vercingetorix, the Roman publicly insulted our founder, and our current leader. The riots this caused were quelled by Imperial Troops, and eventually the tension between Rome and Gaul subsided. Of course, by this time, Rome was crushed by an Arabic Invasion. A note to people who live in the Republic of Italia, or the Saxon Empire, many Gauls still hold past grudges against your people, ant you may be harassed. Although this practice is illegal under international law, it is still widely carried on. If such a thing occurs, be sure to hide most valuables. |
Franco-Spanish Union of the Crowns |
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©1998 Thomas R. Keith |
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As your face presses against the glass of the dirigible window, you see Madrid's Esplanada, a Baroque architectural marvel. In its courtyard, in the midst of a monumental hedged labyrinth, stands a vast television screen, visible from 50,000 feet above, with the red-and-yellow bars and crest of Spain flowing away like liquid, becoming a field of fleur-de-lis. Is this heaven? No, but you were not far wrong, my dimension-hopping friend: it's the Franco-Spanish Empire. A mere 1062 kilometers separate Madrid and Paris, and, if one looks at their hopes, fears, and dreams, they might as well be next-door neighbors. In the streets of Spain's capital, vendors hawk broadsheets handicapping races for the Estates-General in Paris; excited passersby pay seven francetas a sheet and whisper in hushed tones about whether the Republicans or the Communards will weaken the majority held by the Girondist coalition, and whether such an event would push the King to dissolve both houses. Meanwhile, under the shadow of the great bronze statue of Louis XIV erected by Gustave Eiffel, running shoes are being put to the test by amateur scientists-dropped upon the pavement, swung in the air by their laces. Why? The Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, attended by some eight million people annually, is a mere month away. Do not think, though, that all the Empire's pleasures are home-grown. That lie shatters the instant you sip the fine beers and wines of Bismarck's, largest brewer of the Bavarian-led South German Confederation. Or, if that is not enough, join the crowd pressed up against barricades, heads straining for a look at the "Marshal Tallard," personal yacht of King Philip (V of France, VIII of Spain), as His Majesty greets Leather Lion, the hottest band of France's New World dominions. In the 294 years since Britain ceded its American colonies to France, after the glorious French victory at Blenheim which paved the way for the Union of the Crowns under Philip, duc de Anjou, Americans have gone from rebellious grumblers to proud citizens of the world's greatest kingdom; what is more, they smile to see the new trend of learning English, a language which nearly died out in Europe earlier in this century. Remember this: a superpower is greatest when it possesses not only vast lands, crack armies, and ships as numerous as the stars, but also heart, spirit, and a sense of joy. This is the lesson you will bring with you as you return home to your own timeline, smiling as you remember your whirlwind days in two countries under one crown. |
The Place of the Protectors |
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©1998 Victori Adams |
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Despite its international standing, London is a somewhat dull and colorless city. History is its main appeal. Unfortunately, years of Puritan rule and rationalization has eliminated most of the old city in progressive purges of the royalist and "catholic" (i.e., colorful) parts of the city. The English capital's reputation for moral seriousness and aversion to joy goes back to the 17th Century when the corrupt monarchy was overthrown by Parliament. The Republic quickly acquired a Lord Protector in the shape of Oliver Cromwell. Cromwell's son-in-law, John Ireton, succeed him shortly after his death and continued the rather dull and gray stability that the Great Protector had guaranteed. The Great Fire of 1666 allowed the Protector to rebuild the capital in its own image. Today much of the 16th Century remains. The Palace of the Republic sits by the Thames in its somber, brooding glory, the Great House of Worship (still call St.Paul's by the locals) remains in its dignified beauty, and the Palace of the Protector can be seen at the end of the Mall. The Palace itself has much changed over the year. In the 18th Century the continued military dominance of England over Europe and the triumph of English armies against France are celebrated with numerous statues of the "Great Major-Generals." The monument to the 4th Protector, John Churchill, commemorating his victory at Blenhiem and the union of England and the United Provinces of the Neatherlands, is particularly grand. Similarly, the defeat of the Jacobite rebellions in the 17th and 18th Centuries in Scotland, Ireland, the Carolina's, and Virginia are celebrated in the Great Arch of God's Victory as you approach the palace. Visitors from the North American Dominions will be interested to note the inlays on the arch showing America first great Major-General, George Washington, taking the sword of surrender from the leader of the Jacobite and Leveller rebellion in Virginia, "Black" Tom Jefferson. Washington's later career as Provincial Governor and Proector of the Middle American Provinces is also reconized by a small statue to him in Parlament Square. Vistors will also notice the Statue of John Adams, Provincial Governor and Protector of New England nearby. In the 19th Century, the Revolt of theAgitators (when the army mutinied for democratic reform inspired by the French Revolution), led to the destruction of much of the city outside Whitehall. No monument commenorates the blood-shed that followed its supression. However, it did allow Protector Wesley to begin his ambitious rebuilding of the capital to create a more defensible inner-core with long, broad avenues to permit the movement of troops easily around the city. The gothic flourishes on the essentially classical style of the Palace give it a peculiar look that makes it appear as Dicken's observed "a cross between a public lavatory and a railway station." The Imperial experience is evident here as elsewhere in the Palace. Most obviously in the elaborate murals in the entrance way showing the devotion of the North American colonies, India, Africa, and Australia. In particular, the elaborate murals showing the salves honoring Protector Gladstone (the "Great Liberator") and the victories of Major-General Gordon over the insurrectionist forces of the "Conferated Provinces of America." With direction election of the Protector in the 20th Century the Palace, initially took on a more open look. However, security concerns in recent years with the continuing outrages from Scottish and Irish terrorists have led to the erection of numerous security barriers that have all but closed off the Palace to tourists. The English, with there traditional respect of authority and acceptance of regimentation, do not complain. However, foreign visitors will be surprised. Overall, the Palace is well worth a visit. However, as with elsewhere in London, expect education but not entertainment. |
Marseilles, Doorway of America |
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©1998 Thomas R. Keith |
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Santayana was right; history does have an uncanny tendency to repeat itself. Nowhere is this more clear than the port of Marseilles, France, occupied for over a century, 1808-1912, by United States troops. Marseilles was to the Americans what Calais was to the English for so many centuries: a tenuous foothold on the European continent, a launching point for continental wars. Ironically enough, the road to Marseilles was paved by a man who despised the very thought of European entanglements. After Napoleon refused to apologize for the Directory's actions in the 1798 XYZ Affair, saying it was "none of [his] doing, and the American upstarts deserved it anyway," and as French privateers continued attacks on American shipping, President Thomas Jefferson found himself with little choice but an alliance with Britain and war with France; and so, in 1801, training began on the American Expeditionary Force. This army, made up largely of raw frontier recruits officered by Revolutionary War veterans, soon proved tough as nails in its many battles: in Prussia, Austria-Hungary, the Low Countries, on the Peninsula-where an admiring Sir John Moore awarded it the moniker "Sword of Britain"-and finally during the Waterloo campaign of 1811. Marseilles, taken in 1808 by an amphibious operation using the American frigates "Constitution," "Chesapeake" and "President," and besieged for almost a year with no success by Eugene de Beauharnais, was awarded to America at the 1812 Congress of Vienna. This was a hollow victory, though. American Anti-Federalists in the south and west, angry at an alliance with monarchical Britain against former ally France, threatened secession; and though their words came to nothing at the time, the sectional strife begun in the War against Napoleon would plague America for decades to come, and prevent national unity as well. Just as the houses of York and Lancaster struggled to win the garrison of Calais to their respective sides, so too did Federalists, Whigs, and eventually Republicans, Democrats and Populists use propaganda, extortion and other unsavory tactics to shift the course of the political winds in Marseilles. This legacy persists today in arbitrary taxation and occasional illegal search-and-seizure, particularly in the American Quarter; but we advise you not to protest too strongly. Marseilles proved a thorn in the side of France as well. When Napoleon III attempted to retake the city in 1854, his killing of pro-American French civilians started a revolt that toppled his government and raised up the Second (Orsini) Republic, the same Republic which deftly avoided war with Prussia and possible-God forbid!-German unification. Finally, after 1911 peace talks among the USA, CSA, Deseret, Texas, California, and the Iroquois Confederation, all American troops were withdrawn from Marseilles, which became a free city; she was annexed by France in 1922. Even so, she retains a strong Yankee influence. Each year, the Fourth of July is greeted with an elaborate cannonade far greater than that for Bastille Day; and residents of American background are allowed two seats on the seven-member governing council. The Civic Preservation Board maintains the earthworks dug by Brig. Gen. Andrew Jackson during the 1809 siege, and walking tours of their course are given during the summer months. On August 7, the anniversary of Beauharnais's retreat from before the city, a grand race is held on a three-mile track which parallels the zig-zag fortifications; runners come from as far away as Brazil, the Transvaal, Kenya, and British Japan to enjoy this delight. Come early for a good seat-and when I say early, I mean days in advance! |
Bohemondia |
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©1998 Thomas R. Keith |
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The culture of the Bohemondian Empire pulses with energy; ideas often fly out from this small land in Asia Minor and revolutionize the world. Why, you ask? All this vibrance, all this life, stem from unwashed horsemen and a heretical scholar. By 1253, any wise gambler would have laid odds that the Christian Crusades were a failure. The Mameluke slave caste had begun to revitalize Islam, and the small crusading kingdoms were toppling one by one. Then, from out of the vast eastern steppes, came a conquering hero: Hulagu. In a blistering string of campaigns, 1253-1262, this great Mongol general and his rough-and-tumble cavalry crushed the Mamelukes and subjugated the Holy Land in the name of the Great Khan Mongke (who survived a near-fatal bout with dysentery in 1260). Magnanimous, wise, and sympathetic to the Crusaders, Hulagu handed over his winnings-what had been the kingdoms of Aleppo, Damascus, Tripoli, and Jerusalem, plus the Hejaz and much of Egypt-to the newly excommunicated King Bohemond. Bohemond, cut off from Catholicism, converted to Nestorianism, and set the seal on a new religious empire. And that seal remains in place today. According to the teachings of Nestorius, a 4th century Christian scholar, Christ was not truly divine, as no human woman could give birth to God; such "lax" beliefs made Bohemond's religion more palatable to the few Muslims remaining in the Empire after its creation. Furthermore, Queen Theodora's 1492 decision to provide sanctuary to the Sephardic Jews and Moors expelled from Spain by Phillip II did much for the development of a strong middle class, scholarly knowledge, and religious diversity in the Empire. Now, in 1998, you can walk down the cypress-lined Street of Kings in Dorylaeum and see a Jewish banking firm or publisher, a mining company which closes five times a day for prayers toward Mecca, or an Eastern Orthodox cathedral adorning the landscape; and all of these live in harmony. You don't wish to walk? Understandable, in the heat. But a pleasant alternative exists: a gondola ride down the Transjordan Canal. Stretching from the Red Sea to the southwestern corners of the Empire, the canal is a marvel of irrigation, largely the handiwork of Hungarian renegades who worked for the Ottoman Empire and who were captured in the Bohemondian-Ottoman War (1453-1472) triggered by Turkish inroads into Mesopotamia. Anatolia never forgot its humiliation by its infidel neighbor to the south, symbolized by Mehmed II's kneeling surrender to Raymond IV in the Hagia Sophia; and the Turkish border remains hostile to this day, roamed by ghazis (something like Muslim knights-errant) and mutinous Akritai regiments, the latter nominally in the service of Bohemondia. Silks, spices, and precious metals, as well as more serviceable goods like cypress wood and iron weaponry, are all about you in the Empire, and remind you why she has been known for centuries as "the paymaster of Eastern Europe." With her strong trade economy and vast mercantile fleet, she backed Bulgar against Serb, Serb against Macedonian, Byzantine against Venetian, Venetian against Muscovite; her every effort was bent toward the prevention of a hegemonic power in Eastern Europe or Asia Minor, such as the Ottomans had threatened to become. Her great expenditures weakened the monarchy and forced sweeping tariff reforms throughout the 18th and 19th centuries; furthermore, Greater Bulgaria, in partnership with the Habsburgs and the Rhenish Confederation, eventually achieved domination of much of southeastern Europe, until its defeat by the Allies (Britain, France, Spain, Sicily, Genoa, the Venetian Republic, the Duchy of Muscovy, and the FAS [Federation of American States]) in World War I. But no enemy has emerged as strong enough to conquer the core of the Empire; so she remains an economic & technological, if not military, Great Power, not unlike Japan-though she has never been plagued by the xenophobia which is her Eastern twin's bane. Indeed, the Empire welcomes all visitors. She is a center of freedom and innovation, and respects anyone who can enhance those qualities with his or her unique gifts. Could that person be-you? |
Rue Britannia |
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©1999 Thomas Ransom Keith |
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The palace of the Rajah Chesterton rises up to greet you, cast from the finest gold, spattered with rubies and sapphires. You stand awestruck in the noon sun-until the bullet holes and telltale sulfur burns of a hand grenade catch your eye. Only then do you realize why the world of the New British Hegemony holds terrors for the unwary traveler. An elaborate caste system here maintains fullblooded whites as masters of Greater India, followed by "Brahmars," half-Indian, half-British. Though diluted Hinduism is fashionable among these two groups, they earn nothing but scorn from full-blooded natives, who maintain subtle exclusionary policies designed to shut those of European blood out of religious life. Muslims, too, meet with difficulties here, tainted by their perceived association with the Shah of Persia and Waziristan, Mohammed ben-Khatami, as Hindus see Khatami as a puppet of the British. Americans, normally subservient to the British Hegemony, have lately brought upon themselves a transatlantic trade war by their attempts to steal nuclear secrets from the British Atomic Ministry in the Orkney Islands. (It was the British invention of nuclear weapons in 1918, due largely to the efforts of wounded but still living physicist Henry Moseley, which preserved the Hegemony. The first atomic bomb in history, the Dogger Bank I, fell on Lahore in 1919, crushing the Amritsar revolt and killing its leader, lawyer Mohandas Gandhi.) In the darker sections of Karachi, Bombay, or Calcutta, those of white skin may pay the price for the actions of the British some eighty years ago, and the rampant spread of cancer and social unrest which continues to this day as a result of these actions. Travel to the New British Hegemony only at your own peril. |