Alternate Sports!


Alternate NFL Superbowls

©1998 Christian Manacmul

 Super Bowl  Winner  Loser  Note
I  Green Bay  Kansas City  Nothing effected until Super Bowl III
II  Green Bay  Oakland  See above
III  Baltimore  New York Jets  The reason why I'm writing this.
IV  Kansas City  Minnesota  Who was the first AFL team to win a Super
Bowl? :)
V  Baltimore  Dallas  Shula-coached Colts cash in on many Dallas turnovers to win.
VI  Dallas  Kansas City  Dallas makes up for last year by beating Dawson and KC.
VII  Cleveland  Washington  Cleveland defeats Oakland and Miami before upsetting Skins
VIII  Washington  Buffalo  O.J.'s heroic effort not enough for Bills.
IX  Oakland  Minnesota  Raiders start their AFC dominacne here.
X  Dallas  Oakland  One hell of a game from what I heard!
XI  Minnesota  Cincinnati  Vikes' coach Bud Grant finally wins the big one!
XII  Dallas  Denver  One of the only few game results that stay the same in the scenario.
XIII  Oakland  Dallas  Oakland avenges Super Bowl loss to Cowboys 3 years back.
XIV  San Diego  Los Angeles  Shula coaches another team to titles.
XV  San Diego  Atlanta  In our world, Falcons were pretty good back then!
XVI  Cincinnati  Dallas  Air Coryell takes flight.
XVII  Washington  San Diego  Riggins runs all over Chargers.
XVIII  Oakland  Washington  Marcus Allen runs all over Redskins.
XIX  Cincinnati  Chicago  Air Coryell shreds the great Bears defense.
XX  Chicago  New England  Pats' QB Dan Marino runs out of miracles at the end of this one.
XXI  New York Giants  Denver  Something's never change. LT and Carl Bankskick ass!
XXII  Cleveland  Minnesota  Earnest Byner held on to the ball in the AFC Championship game against Denver!

XXIII

 Chicago  Cincinnati  Second revenge game in this scenario. Air Coryell running out of time.
XXIV  New York Giants  Denver  Elway just can't win a Super Bowl!
XXV  Miami  New York Giants  Jim Kelly's Dolphins win after a last second field goal!
XXVI  Washington  Denver  Washington gets NFL-leading fourth Super Bowl title.
XXVII  Minnesota  New England  Aikman and Emmitt Smith's coming out party.
XXVIII  Minnesota  New England  1984 draft curse hitting Marino also.
XXIX  San Francisco  Pittsburgh  Deion Sanders all over the field for the Niners.
XXX  Minnesota  Pittsburgh  The Purple People dynasty rolls on.
XXXI  San Francisco  Cleveland  Steve Young, Ricky Watters, and John Taylor. Nuf said!
XXXII  Denver  San Francisco  Terell Davis finally helps Elway win the big one!

A little history about some of the NFL teams in this scenario. Rah! Rah! Rah!

MIAMI, lacking a Don Shula to coach them gets lost in the shuffle for the most part. The nucleus that made PITTSBURGH great in the 70s in our world never happens on draft day (no Steel Curtain. Just Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris without a line.), leaving OAKLAND the team of the AFC during the 70s. Pittsburgh, under the leadership of Bill Cowher have recently been to two Super Bowls in the 90s but lost both of those games. BTW, John Madden stays awhile with the Raiders before taking that analyst job at CBS. Also, Al Davis never even thought about moving the team to Los Angeles. DALLAS had their glory but it's been fading away. Tom Landry retired in 1989, and the Dallas head coaching spot has been a revolving door ever since. Jerry Jones tried to buy the Cowboys during that same year, but the deal fell through the floor (so no Jimmy Johnson, No Emmitt, No Troy, No Dallas crackdealer dynasty). MINNESOTA, who was down since 1989, quickly rebuild around Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith (both via the draft). The Vikings make all the right moves on both sides of the ball to turn Minneapolis into the New Titletown, U.S.A.

NEW ENGLAND and DENVER (until this past season) have been cursed by the 1984 Draft curse. Together, Elway and Marino are the losers on 6 Super Bowl teams (but Jim Kelly seemed to haved escaped the Curse somewhat when MIAMI defeated the New York Giants on a late second field goal.) BALTIMORE did make the move to Indianapolis, but th CLEVELAND Browns, Oakland Raiders, and LOS ANGELES Rams, out of respect for fan loyalty and tradition stay at home. SAN FRANCISCO (btw, Bill Walsh never was offered the Niner coaching spot and he's still coaching Stanford football to this day. The Cardinal are very exciting to watch and are perennial national title contenders. Anyway, No Bill Walsh and West Coast offense, no Holmgren and Packer, no Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Niner 80s dynasty, etc.) , after years of being the doormat of the Rams, Falcons, and Saints, got to the Super Bowl and have emerged as one of the league's best. Steve Young (acquired in a trade from Tampa Bay), Ricky Watters, William Floyd ( togehter, both are probably the best pair of running backs in league right now), and the always flashy but intimidating Deion Sanders (a top draft pick of the Niners a few seasons back) have been the key to the Niner Super Bowl titles.

Don Shula, after a very successful NFL coaching career, decided to retire after the 1996 season. He left as the NFL's all-time leader in coaching victories, and there is also talk about renaming the Super Bowl championship the Vince Lombardi/Don Shula Trophy.

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Pro Football Halls of Fame

©1998 Christian Manacmul

Things didn't go your team's way this season? I knew that I needed some relief after my team, the Oakland Raiders, went 4-12 this season, and the Pro Football Halls of Fame were the perfect solution. The first Hall of Fame I ever went to was a perfect trip to make. It was located at the Oakland Coliseum. "But why Oakland," I asked the curator.

After answering my nineteen other questions, he kindly explained to me that the Oakland Senors (in that world, the Oakland Senors never changed their name to the Raiders and kept their original orange and black colors) defeated the former champions, the New Orleans Saints (What?!).

Therefore, all of the treasures from the National-American Football League's past was immediately sent from Tulane Stadium ("What the hell's a Superdome?," my new friend asks me.) to Oakland after the Senors defeated the Saints, 27-17, in the Big Easy. The 'Transferring of Tradition' was custom and league rule since the early NFL-AFL merger during the early seventies.

Knowing this, and feeling good about my 'Senors' winning the NAFL Lombardi Trophy (Vince Lombardi was hired by the Canton Bulldogs in this world and turned them into Titletown, U.S.A. "The Green Bay Packers? Oh, those guys! They folded in 1920-something. The Packers only played a few seasons.") for the first time, I proceeded to stare in amazement at all the exhibits this traveling Hall had to offer. The Hall had tons of great stuff that I could talk about if I was given more space to do so, but I'll just write about the biggest highlight of my trip. It was seeing old NFL Films highlights of the 1968 NFL Championship Game (respectively dubbed the 'Ice Bowl' by fans of our world and that world) between Lombardi's legendary Canton Bulldogs and the Dallas Cowboys, a game where some linebacker I never heard of stopped Dallas quarterback Don Meredith from sneaking the ball in from the one-yard line. The Bulldogs went on to defeat the AFL representative Houston Oilers in Super Bowl II, Lombardi's last game as coach of the Bulldogs. I was also looking for all the busts of all of the Hall of Famers, but they were nowhere to be found. Instead, framed team pictures, with season's scores and player rosters engraved on gold, chronicled the NAFL's long and proud history.

Since that visit, I've been to other worlds with interesting Pro Football Halls Fame. One world's NFL was based on the custom of the English Premiere League. Under the system, teams get promoted and demoted based on the previous year's records (next season's 'premier league' will feature the Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers, Green Bay Packers, Lincoln Cornhuskers, and Ann Arbor Wolverines). Their Hall is located in South Bend, Indiana, home of the ancient South Bend Irish, the NFL's dynasty led by Knute Rockne during the late 30s and early 40s. I did finally find a Pro Football Hall of Fame that was located in Canton, Ohio. But, the NFL standings resemble those of a AA baseball minor league. The Rock Island (IL) Independents and those same Canton Bulldogs have been the teams to beat in this league, which has done little expanding from its Midwestern base (I've had heard talk of Los Angeles and Houston getting franchises in the near future though). Did I mention that this ultraconservative, but family-value rich America is still experimenting with black-and-white television?

The American Football League (AFL) Hall of Fame is located in one alternate Los Angeles. It turns out that the AFL's Kansas City Chiefs upset the highly favored NFL champion Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl I, giving the AFL, originally headed by both Al Davis and Lamar Hunt, more prestige than its older counterpart ever since. In fact, the AFC has beaten the NFC in the last fourteen Super Bowls. But Jerry Jones' Dynasty Dolphins haven't been the same since Jimmy Johnson 'resigned' as head coach of the team.

I thought that that was weird enough until I accidentally visited a world were pro wrestling is brutally real and pro football is staged (Thank God my travel agent booked me on the wrong trip)! The World Football Federation (WFF) and Ted Turner owned World Championship Football (WCF) are the biggest professional football companies in the business. In this one WFF Monday Night Football game/episode I saw, Pro Bowl linebacker Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Philadelphia Eagles, with a little interference from Michael Irvin and other Miami Hurracane players, edge out the Canes' hated rivals and the WFF Intercontinental Champions, the Seminoles of Tallahassee after Irvin and his 'Cane Posse' led a halftime lockerroom ambush on star defensive end Ron 'Farooq' Simmons and head coach Bobby Bowden during the championship main event in Tallahassee! That world had the craziest football I've even seen! I plan to return to that world sometime next Christmas, as well as look for a world where the Raiders have won fifteen of their last sixteen over the hated Kansas City Chiefs!

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"World Cup" of the Tlachtli

©1998 Christian Manacmul

The game of the heavens will hold its "World Cup" tournament next month, starting August 2nd (on most world calendars) and not ending until there is only one surviving team. This "World Cup" has been known to last for up to a year due to the hundreds of teams entering the single elimination tournament. The decision of the chief elders (who serve as the sport's governing body) years ago to allow foreign clubs into the tourney has only increased the number of participating clubs.

Tlachtli itself is wickedly brutal. Extreme in its nature, many a human has breathed his last breath on a tlachtli ball court. Heavy padding all over the body does little to decrease the fatalities. As for the game itself, is is a combination of football (both the American and world versions mind you!) and basketball. The "I"- shaped ball court is considered by both the religious and fanatic as a representation of the heavens. But this is the view of the old generation purist. The younger generation sees the sport as both a way of raising funds for the Empire and as one heck of an event. A rubber ball (representing either the sun, moon, or stars) is supposed to be knocked (with elbows, knees, and hips) into the opponents side of the court and through their vertical stone hoop (symbolic of either the sun movements of the equinoxes). Play continues until one score is achieved (Easier said than done!).

From all walks of life come the competitors. Players range from the sentenced criminal (sent against his will) to the suicidal thrill seeker. Modern rules allow only 12 players on the court for each team, but there is no limit on the number of extra players a team is allowed to carry. Depth doesn't guarantee wins though. It just means more bodies to punish with one of an infinite number of torturing punishments, which the chief elders always decide upon.

If you want to try your luck in playing in the "Cup," then the elders encourage you to participate on one of the hundreds of existing clubs. Or better yet, organize your own club. "The gods will shower you with glory and riches," they promise. The "World Cup" of Tlachtli also welcomes fans to their ball courts.

This year, the Aztec Empire will play host to the event. To my knowledge, your currency (if it can somehow be converted into Aztec money) is accepted in purchasing tickets, souvenirs, and the like. Before you make the trip, though, we strongly advise you to be street-wise since con artists and fan hooliganism exists. Christians and strict tlachtli purists have protests planned during the "Cup" as well. You may want to participate in this instead. Contact your local ITA travel agent for more details. This is the same Meso-America with the Our Lady of Guadalupe Underground Church!

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Alternate World Baseball Stats

©1998 Christian Manacmul


Home Run! Rah! Rah! Rah!BASEBALL ROUNDUP 
(courtesy of the Los Angeles Times sports section-7/26/98)
=================================================================
AMERICAN LEAGUE STANDINGS
===================================================
			W    L     %       GB      L10     Stk
===================================================
WEST
=====
Los Angeles Angels	
          56   46  .549      ---      5-5     Won 1
Dallas Wranglers                       
          56   47  .544       .5      5-5     Lost 2
Denver Rockies                  
          47   56  .456      9.5      7-3     Won 1
San Francisco Seals       
          46   56  .451     10.0      2-8     Lost 5
====================================================
CENTRAL
========
Cleveland Indians         
          59  44  .573      ---       6-4     Won 2
St. Louis Browns          
          47  55  .461     11.5       5-5     Won 2
Kansas City A's                           
          45  57  .441     13.5       4-6     Lost 1
Chicago White Sox                     
          45  58  .437     14.0       5-5     Won 1
Detroit Tigers                               
          43  59  .422     15.5       4-6     Lost 2
======================================================
EAST
====
Boston Red Sox                  
          72  26  .735      ---       5-5     Lost 1                           
New York Yankees          
          59  43  .578     15.0       5-5     Won 1
Baltimore Orioles                       
          52  52  .500    23          8-2     Lost 1
Washington Senators               
          52  53  .495    23.5        5-5     Lost 1
Hartford Knights               
          39  62  .386    34.5        5-5     Won 3
===================================
SCORES
=======
Angels 6, A's 5
Indians 5, Tigers 4
Rockies 4, Orioles 2
White Sox 8, Red Sox 4
Yankees 3, Senators 2
Knights 8, Seals 6
Browns 8, Wranglers 7
===================================
**WILDCARD RACE**
===================================
New York Yankees	    59    43    ---
Dallas Wranglers     56    47    3.5
Baltimore Orioles    52    52    8.0
Washington Senators  52    53    8.5
Denver Rockies       47    56   12.5


=================================================================
NATIONAL LEAGUE STANDINGS
===================================================
			W    L     %       GB      L10     Stk
===================================================
WEST
=====
San Diego Padres	          
          68   36  .654      ---     8-2      Won 1
Houston Colt 45's                      
          55   49  .529     13.0     3-7      Lost 1
Seattle Rainiers                         
          53   51  .510     15.0     6-4      Lost 1
Vancouver Canadians              
          46   58  .442     22.0     5-5      Won 5
Monterrey Payasos                    
          37   66  .359     30.5     6-4      Won 1
====================================================
CENTRAL
========
Louisville Royals                      
          61   42  .592      ---     6-4      Lost 1
Chicago Cubs                          
          58  46   .558      3.5     7-3      Won 1
Milwaukee Braves                   
          52  52   .500      9.5     5-5      Won 1
Pittsburgh Pirates                    
          49  55   .471     12.5     7-3      Won 1
St. Louis Cardinals                  
          48  55   .466     13.0     5-5      Lost 2
Cincinnati Blues                       
          46  58   .442     15.5     2-8      Won 1
======================================================
EAST
====
New York Giants                       
          68  36   .654      ---     6-4      Lost 1                          
Brooklyn Dodgers                     
          54  47   .535     12.5     7-3      Lost 1
Philadelphia Liberty                  
          53  49   .520     14.0     5-5      Lost 1
Atlanta Colonels                        
          40  64   .385     28.0     1-9      Lost 1
Miami Revs                                 
          38  66  .365      30.0     2-8      Won 1
=======================================================
SCORES
=======
Payasos 4, Rainiers 2
Revs 5, Philadelphia 4
Cubs 1, Dodgers 0
Canadians 6, Cardinals 3
Padres 5, Royals 4
Blues 10, Colt 45's 8
Pirates 5, Giants 2
Braves 4, Colonels 3
===================================
**WILDCARD RACE**
===================================
Chicago Cubs       58    46    ---
Brooklyn Dodgers   54    47    2.5
Houston Colt 45's  55    49    3.0

 

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The following is a collection of the baseball news (from July 18th to July 26th) that I was able to pick up from some fans during my trip to "The Alternate Baseball World." Though this is not complete, I do assure you that this news is 100% accurate. But, I do promise to continue filling you in on the world of sports here in the "ABW" as I make my monthly trips to the ballparks. Enjoy!

Alternate Baseball World (ABW) Notebook

©1998 Christian Manacmul

June 18th- Bud Selig, the current commissioner of baseball, announced that he will officially step down at the end of the season. Selig, the former president of the Milwaukee Braves before taking over as commissioner for the deceased Bart Giamanni in 1990, received praise for his decision to compromise with the Players' Assn. That was crucial in the prevention of a potential strike threat four years ago.

June 26th-28th- The St. Louis Browns, before three consecutive weekend sellout crowds, defeated their cross-town rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals by taking 2-of-3 games. This series, undisputedly, was the most unique out of all of the interleague games in the ABW.

July 3rd- Less than 3,000 fans attented Friday afternoon's contest between the Houston Colt 45s and the Seattle Rainiers at the Sam Houston Ballpark due to the blistering heat, which has had its harshest impact in Texas. Two fans, an elderly couple by the name of Tom and Gladys Bennett, were rushed to the Univ. of Houston Medical Center after they fainted during the 4th inning of the Colt 45 home game. Fortunately, they recovered just minutes after entering the hospital.

July 4th- The Philadelphia Liberty public relations department have received rave reviews nationwide each year for their planned Fourth of July baseball celebration activities at the Baker Bowl. The Spirit of 1776 was captured by the following events: a pre-game novelty Great Americans game (where historic personality impersonators played a 6-inning game against each other), a 1-minute moment of silence in memory of the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for the country before the game, a Philadelphia Philharmonic-led rendition of the National Anthem, the throwing of the first pitch by Philly mayor Richard Mayne, and a post-game fireworks spectacular. As for the game itself, Milwaukee defeated the hometown Liberty 8-5.

July 7th- The NL All-Stars, keyed by San Diego Padre Roberto Alomar's 2-run shot in the tenth off reliever Armando Benitez of the Red Sox, beat their AL All-Star rivals 5-3 before a sellout crowd at the GM Canuckdome in Vancouver.

July 13th- The Cincinnati Blues traded their lone All-Star representative Randy Johnson to the Brooklyn Dodgers for first baseman Rafael Palmeiro and two minor leaguers. The trade relieved the last-place Blues of Johnson, who demanded a trade to a contending team while it gave the Dodgers a premier arm that should aid them in their bid to catch their cross-town, NL East leading New York Giants.

July 25th- The Denver Rockies defeated the Baltimore Orioles, 4-2, to snap the O's 11-game winning streak at Memorial Stadium. During the streak, the Orioles were able to reach .500 for the first time since late May.

July 26th- After his fourth attempt,Don Sutton, who pitched his best years for the Kansas City Athletics (1966-82; 1988), will finally be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. During his 23-year career, Which also included stints with the St. Louis Browns (1982) and Los Angeles (1983-87), Sutton amassed an impressive pitching record: 325 wins, 3,573 strikeouts (5th best on the All-time list), and a 3.25 ERA.

QUEST FOR THE BABE's 60 (at this point)

Babe Ruth, Boston/ Season: 42 homers/ July 25, 1927: 3 homers
Mark McGwire, Los Angeles/ Season: 44 homers/ July 25, 1998: 1 homer
Ken Griffey, Jr., Philadelphia/ Season: 40 homers/ July 25, 1998: 0 homers

ADVERTISEMENTS from the ALTERNATE BASEBALL WORLD
[Note: While the following ads have been approved by the ITA, the ITA is not responsible for misinformation resulting from these ads nor are they an endorsement of the client and/or their product.]

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