Alternate Timelines Want Ads

By Stephen Voss, et al.

Intertimeline NEWS Classifieds

Index

100 Personals

200 Employment

400 Real Estate

600 Merchandise

800 Lost and Found

Note this publication does not take ads for germ warfare products, Slaves, or Temporal erasure devices.


100 Personals

Due to the nature of timelines, responses are stored at intermail sites

Girls seeking boys


153119: Cute Celtic Girl with dominant personality, 5'3 reddish,Brown hair green eyes seeks 2 (ITA) meter Zulu warrior with hacking skills and knowledge of AmigaOS 7.1

Boys seeking girls


155008: The Alaskan republic is seeking women to marry our men. Men outnumber women 10-1. looks not important but no whiners. Must sign contract for 3 year committment. Signing bonuses offered, good looking women can get up to $50,000.

Other seeking Other


156640: 2 smooth lizard women seek mammals with intelligence and wit for dinner dates. Don't be scared we want you over for dinner, we don't want you for dinner.

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200 Employment

WANTED - Soldiers. The United States of America needs you! The US Army in US timeline US-3 is fighting a protracted war against the Third Reich. People with experience fighting hoverpanzers and Helibombers encouraged to apply. Help the US keep the Nazis out of your timelines!

WANTED - Soldiers- the North American Treaty Organisation (NATO) is seeking volunteers with experience in Mohawk stealth motorcycles.

WANTED- Postmen. The United States of America (Timeline US neg 3) is seeking travelers with experience with postal work to help reestablish communication within the US. Alternate timeline citizens that have worked for private couriers are also welcome.

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400 Real Estate

Bankruptcy Sale- All lands formerly belonging to the government of the United States of America shall be auctioned off during a 6 month period beginning Thursday. Contact the Debtholders JP MORGAN INVESTMENTS

For Sale- 10000 Acre parcels of good Chinese farmland at $1 an acre. Some land with no victims on it. All prospective buyers should be innoculated before entering timeline.

For Rent- Apartments 1 or more bedrooms , good location outside Paris, former home of royalty. Contact Marie A. Bourbon at Versailles Apts.

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600 Merchandise

ARTWORK- All sorts of genuine masterpieces from many timelines starting at 20 DE's.

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800 Lost and Found

Lost- Mona Lisa, obscure painting by Italian painter with sentimental value. Reward $50.

Found- Wooly Mammoth roaming Central Park, answers to the name of "Spot". Call park supervisor David Letterman at ITA box 347

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